A sort-of Chinese My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the film The Farewell has a big nuptial ceremony, sure, but it goes sentimentally deeper …exploring the meaning of death, and how it applies to those with the luxury of living.
“Based on an actual lie” – that will soon leave you pondering the burden of near-death and how various cultures handle it – Chinese-born, U.S. raised Billi (Awkwafina) discovers she’s lost her Guggenheim arts scholarship. But she also discovers her “Nai-Nai” grandmother (Shuzhen Zao) has three months left to live following a diagnosis of lung cancer.
The twist is that Chinese culture doesn’t tell the dying their life is ending. To assure Nai-Nai’s happiness, the family covers up the doctor’s report, flies to Changchun under the delightful guise of a wedding, and instead unites family members who haven’t been together in twenty-five years. It is here, almost instantly, we question why we might put off seeing those we love before it’s too late.
There’s a grace and elegance about this film written/directed by LuLu Wang. There’s also a lesson that pierces your very soul long after you leave the movie. Without telling the ending, is it possible that sparing our loved ones the doom of death might give them reason to carry on?
Through the gift of ‘lying’ to a dying family member, we might take that burden for and from them, by utilizing their final moments to give them the best last days of their lives. There is family history to be explored in these circumstances, expectations to be understood, and in this case, a wondrous spirit to be celebrated in Nai-Nai. She’s robust, witty, and wise.
If you loved last year’s highly successful Crazy Rich Asians this story slows it down a notch; tapping into the depth of heritage and culture. The eastern world does an extraordinary job at examining and coming to terms with the lack of choice. The western world seems to go about it all wrong. Embrace the death with laughter, and you just might find that in the end, there is no death at all.
But, if there’s one thing you’ll take away from this gem of a foreign film, aside from going home with a smile and hugging your loved ones, it’s this: why put the burden of dying on the dying? Let the healthy family take the sorrow, the regrets and the fear by sacrificing love to make a loved one’s final days the best time of their life.
An absolute Oscar contender for best foreign film. I just hope Nai-Nai is there to give her acceptance speech. In the meantime, call your Nai-Nai. 4 tiaras