Let’s just start by saying that compared to other films, Vampire movies seem to have their own set of rules. And with Twilight – whether you love it or hate it – that which seems like an eternity (or at least several years) has altered the movie-going experience and invented its own new genre… Screaming teenage girls!

 Initially the film had a charming innocence….the new girl in town – high school sweetheart (Kristen Stewart) – against her father’s wishes – falls in love with a bad boy named Edward (Robert Pattinson), except he’ a vampire. She can’t kiss him let alone, well, you know…. The heat is there and so is the virginity.

But as the years go on, the love triangle emerges with (Taylor Lautner) the washboard ab he/wolf boy who doesn’t stand a chance in the long run, against the two star-crossed lovers with blood-shot-zombie-eyes. Bella is now a tough vampire which means she’s lost her charm and her hunger (for acting) though her hunger for human flesh or animals is quite clear as she sprints through the nearest forest in search of a snack.  But the characters are missing soul. It’s as if they’ve become caricatures of themselves, the only human with emtions is Bella’s dad.

The film clearly caters to teens with its stuck-like-glue love, its raging hormones, its arm wrestling, and Bella’s new cottage closet full of really cool shoes, but it’s that “awwww…she’s so cutttte” factor teen girls feel towards kittens and newborn babies that will make them go ga-ga over Bella and Edward’s daughter.  And that’s because Bella is now grown, married and has her gurgling-cute Damien-daughter vampire/child offspring, Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy.) This is serious business since apparently, and according to the enemy vampire Volturi, who make vampire rules 101, you can’t have a child for various reasons (spoiler alert.) Except our little Renesmee is half child and half vampire so maybe they should rethink it.  But if they did, there wouldn’t be a threat to our lovely threesome little family, so alas, let the games begin (oh, wait a second, that’s HUNGER GAMES.) On that note, I can’t tell you the ending twist, but I can say that love, like vampires, never dies.  Three tiaras