(Rated R, 113 min.)   Opens Feb. 11
Proving there’s life after “Titanic” (barely), Leonardo DiCaprio resurfaces in “The Beach,” a movie that starts out as “Blue Lagoon” and ends up as “Lord Of The Flies.”

Beginning in a cheap hotel in Bangkok (for no explained reason), DiCaprio’s character Richard runs into a drugged-out, wacked-out, too-many-hours-in-the-sun- informant named “Daffy,” in the form of Robert (“The Full Monty”) Carlyle.

Daffy tells the tale of a secret island that is paradise on earth sans tourists, ultimately foreshadowing Richard’s quest into madness. For another unexplained reason, Richard asks his motel room neighbors, Francoise (Virginie Ledoyen) and Etienne (Guilaume Canet), whom he doesn’t even know, to join him on this wild goose chase to find this island. And, what’s weirder, is that they agree to just pack up and go.

Some 500 miles and 24 hours later, they land on this beach that they soon discover is inhibited by gun-crazed farmers and a group of perfectly dressed Gap meets J. Crew catalog kids who have been living there for years. I’m still trying to figure out how they get U.P.S. to deliver their wardrobe.

This group of commune kids thrive on sex, sun and enough dope (the island is laden with marijuana) to cause anybody to get paranoid, crazy and so the story begins, and seems to never end. My favorite scene was the “Jaws” shark attack with DiCaprio, although I really think it’s time poor Leo got out of the water and off the boat once and for all, starring next time in a movie on land.

This story based on Alex Garland’s novel is no “Fantasy Island,” and except for its beautiful visuals is just plain annoying.